The swarm of angry thots swirled through my head. “The audacity of these people! They’ve absolutely no respect for God!” Let me tell you that this was not the way I had planned to spend Vinayagar Chathurthi (Lord Ganesha’s birthday).
I had had visions of spending this holy day with calm contemplation of God. Plus, this year, I had decided I didn’t want to get involved in passing nasty comments about others or in listening to others do so. Were all my good intentions to be washed down the drain just like that?
That’s when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the object of my ire (the people who had delayed the prayer session). And all my red hot anger took flight. In its place came understanding with a mixture of wonder and gratitude.
The incident had taken place on a windy evening at my regular temple. Let me tell you the whole story.
According to the notice stuck on the board, this particular temple function was supposed to have started at 5.00 pm. At half past five, there was still no sign of starting as the ubayam people (i.e. the people sponsoring that particular prayer session) had yet to arrive.
Since I was in a holy place I tried to curtail nasty thoughts about these insensitive undisciplined people. There had been other tardy individuals in the past, but none had dared to be as late as this! After an hour of pacing the temple grounds, trying to stomp out boredom, I spotted them.
No matter what their reason for being late was, everyone forgave them (and felt a tad bit guilty) when we lay eyes on them.
Into the temple walked in a couple who was truly in the twilight of their years. With hair like soft white cotton, white shirt and equally white dhoti wrapped around his slim frame, the fair man walked in slowly, holding his head up high. She followed, in a sari as blue as the oceans, hugging the wall, taking one delicate step at a time. Painfully slow, with no cane or loved one to hang on to. Despite all of that, her eyes twinkled and her round face exuded an eagerness to perform her religious duties as best as she could.
How could anyone remain angry with them?
As one lady later remarked, many elderly people stop visiting temples. Disappointed with their old bodies that ached constantly, sometimes coupled with anger at God for their frailty, some grasp at the slightest excuse not to visit God in his abode.
All of which just made this old couple all the more admirable.
What had looked like a religious event ruined, was revived on an upbeat mood. Two rounds of prayers had been delayed, but not a soul minded.
Admittedly, I had been quick to judge without knowing anything about this couple. Time and time again, I forget that there is a reason for everything that happens. It is a pity that my mind does not have that Zen like quality where it can remain calm and undisturbed, irrespective of the calamity it finds itself in.
Ever noticed how the mind get easily disturbed, churning relentlessly away, creating dangers where there were none? If there was no malicious intent behind a harmless comment, we sometimes delve too deep looking for one. Our minds can play ghastly tricks on us when we let it rule us .
What more when living in a logic driven world, we are trained to explain/reason every action. Even when we don’t have all the facts on hand.
I figure that in these scenarios, creative minds must have it real bad. These agile minds can all too easily cook up outlandish reasons, indulge in assumptions and presume a million things without basing it on a single concrete fact.
Well, let me just end by saying that I was grateful for being able to take part in the prayers conducted by the old couple. It was a privilege that came gift wrapped with a lesson on controlling minds from Lord Ganesha.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
When polite boys slap teachers
Anger surged through his young body, throwing a dark heavy blanket across his senses. Derek’s* arm shot up. The corridor reverberated with the sound of him slapping his middle-aged teacher right across the cheek.
When my 17 year old student from the home I helped out at related what he had done, I went numb with shock and dismay.
For this was the same pleasant boy who always greeted me politely, made an attempt to do his homework (well, at least most of the time) and had improved his command of the language by leaps and bounds. From not being able to string a proper English sentence together, he has progressed to communicating his thoughts relatively well using a decent range of vocabulary.
How could he have slapped his teacher?
In the three years I had known this intelligent teen, there had never had a serious discipline problem with him. There were others before him who had not been able to sit through a short English lesson, focusing (much to my dismay) on creating a ruckus during the sessions.
“That teacher was out to get me,” was Derek's version of the entire ordeal. What was I supposed to say?
Knowing the dismal situations that Malaysian teachers had to handle I guessed that Derek:
· may be right and the teacher was venting his own personal frustrations on him, or
· had totally misread the whole situation. In trying to help the troubled student, the teacher had unwittingly alienated the teen.
Two months down the road, Derek was ordered to stop attending school. Instead, from August onwards he had to stay at the home to prepare for his SPM (a Malaysian examination that 17 year olds sit for, somewhat similar to the O Levels).
It turned out, Derek had been keeping bad company, propellin him do things he otherwise would not have. As I observed my bright student who could have achieved so much more with a little more guidance in life, it made sense.
It also drove home the point that so many of our ‘problematic” students could have fared better if someone out there was willing to take time out of the rat race to spend time with them.
That’s the one thing that always strikes me when I walk into homes, especially those for kids under 12. They crave a lot of attention and there's no one there to give it to them.
Anyway, back to Derek. Boys will think and act based on what the rest of the gang condones. Teen peer approval is a matter of life and death, isn’t it?
Then and again, you know that doesn’t change much when teens metamorphose into adults.
If you think back in the last ten days, you may have been prompted to take an action that you normally would not, just to keep the rest of the team / gang / group / buddies / department / family happy. Be honest now, didn’t you?
(*Naturally, Derek is not my student’s name as I’ve had to change it.)
When my 17 year old student from the home I helped out at related what he had done, I went numb with shock and dismay.
For this was the same pleasant boy who always greeted me politely, made an attempt to do his homework (well, at least most of the time) and had improved his command of the language by leaps and bounds. From not being able to string a proper English sentence together, he has progressed to communicating his thoughts relatively well using a decent range of vocabulary.
How could he have slapped his teacher?
In the three years I had known this intelligent teen, there had never had a serious discipline problem with him. There were others before him who had not been able to sit through a short English lesson, focusing (much to my dismay) on creating a ruckus during the sessions.
“That teacher was out to get me,” was Derek's version of the entire ordeal. What was I supposed to say?
Knowing the dismal situations that Malaysian teachers had to handle I guessed that Derek:
· may be right and the teacher was venting his own personal frustrations on him, or
· had totally misread the whole situation. In trying to help the troubled student, the teacher had unwittingly alienated the teen.
Two months down the road, Derek was ordered to stop attending school. Instead, from August onwards he had to stay at the home to prepare for his SPM (a Malaysian examination that 17 year olds sit for, somewhat similar to the O Levels).
It turned out, Derek had been keeping bad company, propellin him do things he otherwise would not have. As I observed my bright student who could have achieved so much more with a little more guidance in life, it made sense.
It also drove home the point that so many of our ‘problematic” students could have fared better if someone out there was willing to take time out of the rat race to spend time with them.
That’s the one thing that always strikes me when I walk into homes, especially those for kids under 12. They crave a lot of attention and there's no one there to give it to them.
Anyway, back to Derek. Boys will think and act based on what the rest of the gang condones. Teen peer approval is a matter of life and death, isn’t it?
Then and again, you know that doesn’t change much when teens metamorphose into adults.
If you think back in the last ten days, you may have been prompted to take an action that you normally would not, just to keep the rest of the team / gang / group / buddies / department / family happy. Be honest now, didn’t you?
(*Naturally, Derek is not my student’s name as I’ve had to change it.)
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